I am feeling very bleh! this week. I really don't know why perhaps it's that work has started to trough. It might be that Gabriella turned one last week another milestone has passed by.

Wednesdays Musings
On my bus ride home, while the bus travels over its familiar path I get to be introspective about various aspects of my life. Today I ran through the reasons why I shouldn't have a third child in my head again.
1. There is the age thing: I am 39 ( though being of Malaysian descent I am told that I don't look it but boy lately I really feel it)
2. There are financial reasons. We both already work full-time because of our expenses with two children.
3. We have a boy and a girl and that makes us very happy.
4. Even if I had a baby, P would be the one to have to give up some work and not me so I wouldn't even get to be with the baby that much.
5. I tried to think about how we would deal with childcare and that wouldn't compute. We would end up with at least one child in 3 days childcare while we were on a reduced wage so we would be even further behind.
6. I am 39 - the age thing again. I am sooo tired with my one year old I really don't know where I would get the energy to grow a baby let alone look after small one.

None of the rational reasons can compete against my irrational desire for another child - though I would never ever do anything that would risk my falling pregnant again. I just look at my children and wonder what would your brother or sister look like? I wish I had another 7 years up my sleeve that would give me enough of a break between the 2nd child and the third child to work up some more leave and to deal with the cost of child care. If only the government would come to our rescue and offer some real relief from child care costs ( lump sum payments don't cut it in the long run) then it wouldn't be as much of a problem. I know that one friend of mine can't possibly contemplate the $400 a week it would cost her to have a second child in care so has to put off having a second child for a few more years.

I am quite sure there will be no third baby - what if we won the Lotto?? Though we would need to actually buy a ticket first though for that.

On a brighter note.

Some friends of ours opened a new restaurant in Southbank called Dell'Ugo Southbank- in the same place the television restaurant for My Restaurant Rules was operated. It has made a stylish turnaround and yesterday in the Courier Mail's Good Life, Lizzie Loel gave it a very good review. P and I thought we would try and make it there soon.

Damn news on Channel 10 - they keep saying Elton John is getting married but not whether he is marrying a man or a woman. Do I really want to nibble at this bait? No I am heading to bed - either way I am sure it will be another mistake for him.

I feel quite pessimistic tonight- maybe its because like my political dreams the American's political dreams will be soon shattered. Scare tactics again.

I admired what Bill Clinton said recently in the lead up to the election about who do you want to vote for "the person that appeals to your fears or the person that appeals to your hopes and dreams - I know who I would vote for." So do I.

I think I am going to be more disappointed about the result of their election than ours.


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