Work life balance and the will to win

That is a myth I think.

It's Wednesday I have been working for 2 days (I had Monday off) and finished late at 7pm both nights and for one of those nights I have woken and thought about ways to solve the problem till I finally succumbed to sleep.

Last week I was at work late most nights and working till midnight working on the same problem.

Over the last two days, I have been trying hard to resolve the problem and reach a viable solution, because we must submit a paper which outlines 2 options, recommends a solution and explains the risks of both options.

Every step of the way there has been this woman who is so counterproductive in the way she works the only impact she has on me and my team is to make us chase our tails and work in circles - it is excruiating.

It is absolutely incredible how that unproductive woman stays in her position. This problem has been haunting some of my colleagues for nearly a year and it finally landed in my lap. I can reach an outcome, but the woman who has kept this going for the year, the counterproductive one is working against me at every step and will keep doing that right till the death - that is the way she has always worked against me. She must be my nemesis.

I will get an outcome, despite the complexity and history of this problem (approximately $100 000 has been spent getting legal advice on various ways to solve this problem).

Despite my hearing of the death of my Aunt on Monday night, despite me occassionally breaking down in tears in my office over the last two days about the loss of my Aunt, the stress of the work and the problem making caused by this other woman and despite the guilt that I feel because I have to leave it all to my sister to help my mother (my Aunt's carer) through this time, I will finish what many people have not been able to solve.

I am resilient. I can achieve. I will win.

I don't know what has posessed me to return to this blog? Probably the euphoria of having a computer that makes uploading my photographs easier. This was actually taken a long time ago, Spring in November 2007 to be exact. I suppose with our heading into winter I am drawn towards the end of the year already when things will bloom again. This is a view from down my street. It makes feel lucky to live in this street.

Return to work

Hard to believe, I am at the end of my first two weeks of being back at work. Unfortunately I returned to act in the most senior position in the Division, which meant of course I was the boss. Lots of meetings mainly and dealing with staff, dealing with staff, dealing with staff. It seems that is my main occupation at work these days. Some days however I feel like I work for them and not vice versa!

In the midst of this P's dear Grandmother died after a slowish decline from about November 2006. When I was told the news less than a week ago, I mainly felt relief. I guess because since November there was such an outpouring of love for her from the family that we actually got to say "I love you" and basically without words "Goodbye." She wasn't conscious in the final couple of weeks, so I also felt that she had already gone by then too.

It was a fairly big deal not just because of the loss of her beautiful soul, but because Elliot was close to her and there was some explaining for us to do.

We had the funeral on Wednesday, and we asked Elliot to come and speak if he wanted to. Elliot spoke of her in front of the family during the ceremony -we were very proud of him.

I wanted the words to come from him, so we lay on my big bed together 3 nights ago and got out the lap top and I asked him what did you think of when you think of Nanny, he said " Lots of feeling" and then when I prompted him " Well she had great catching hands!" Not bad sentiments I know but I knew I could extract more from him so I tried the old tried and true acrostic poem and this is what he came up with and said at the funeral:

My GrandNan - an acrostic poem

G -GrandNan was a great lady;
R- Rated highly by me
A- Always remembered my birthday
N- Never got mad at me
D -Dear to my heart
N -Nicest person I will ever know
A- Always happy to see me
N-No one will take her place

I was a very lucky boy to have a Grand Nan and we got to know each other very well and I will always remember her love and kindness.

It was a touching moment, Nanny's children spoke, her grandchildren spoke and so did her great grand children - a loving tribute to a beautiful person that I am so much better for having known her - I will miss you Nanny.

New Bathroom?

These are the tiles for our new bathroom which is to begin by the end of the month. P used his computer skills to work out how the feature tiles will map out. The chocolate brown tiles at the bottom are actually the floor tiles he didn't have time to 3d properly.

The shower will also be inside a semiframe.

Not bad P- he has actually chosen it all!

dialogue

"Sank you Mummy!" with her drink in her hand.
"Thats all right dear" I say.
"No, say - My pleasure!" she replies.

"I've got an idea!" she says quite brightly to me, as we are driving off to do some grocery shopping.
"What?" I inquire.
"Don't say what!" she says.
"Sorry, I mean what's your idea?" .
"Don't say what!" she says again
"Okay tell me about your idea?"
There is silence....I think the idea has been forgotten.

Ever the diplomat

Recently turned 3 and a sophisticated miss, and very much adored by all and sundry. She is also very friendly, when I picked her up from day care on Friday, I was told she charmed another Mummy, by putting her arms around her and made comments about her lovely earrings and makeup - Gabriella loves all the trappings of femaledom.

When I ask her "How much do you love me" she usually replies "Like Daddy" - Daddy gets the reverse reply when asking the same question. I wonder where she learned diplomacy?

I was looking for my gingerbread recipe so start the Christmas baking and read some old posts - I wish I could start writing again I just miss that process, but two years down the track life is so much busier than it used to be its quite sad really, last night I was in bed by 8.30pm.

Work has calmed down finally and I no longer wake up before the day starts properly and dread what result I could possibly be asked to produce this week, I was very much dreading work for the first time in ages.

Though not an excuse for my intermittent posting I worked out the Blogger beta move is working against me when I have gone to post a picture to this blog or my cooking blog it takes ages to load so I lose patience and give up.

Cricket Fever

Dear Gabriella has caught cricket fever from Elliot. This is Elliot's first year of club competition with his first game beginning last Saturday morning. I knew he was looking forward to it, but I didn't expect him coming into our bedroom at 5.30am in his underwear and pads reminding us that he was playing that day -gently admonishing him I called out yes, yes, we know its the big day, but please put some pants on before you put your cricket pads on!

I took him to buya helmet on Saturday afternoon, it was fun but definately a venture into new territority for me as P normally takes the role of taking Elliot's to sport shops for bits and pieces. We were going to buy gloves too but I have this thing about kids getting things all at once, and then expecting things to happen all at once when their adults. I think there are some good lessons to learn from understanding there are advantages in delaying gratification and managed to placate him with a promise to revisit things like shoes, gloves, cricket bags and cricket clothes over the next month or so. In looking at all the pads, gloves and helmets that can be purchased I honestly felt like I was kitting out a gladiator not a mere 8 year old boy!