Trying weekend

The weekend has been a little trying and mainly due to the changes that we are making with Gabriella. I have been a little emotional about the weaning and after the first night when I tried to explain to P how I was finding it difficult to adjust I ended up bursting into tears.

After the first night I interrogated P as to how it went and he told me he was up twice and had given her a bottle each time. It didn't dawn on me till after the second night when I found them both in bed in the morning with Gabriella drinking from a bottle and heard that he had given her two bottles during the night, that I realised that this was not going to be better unless further changes were implemented.

I explained to P that the agony involved in weaning Gabriella was not worth it unless it was in order to have her sleeping through the night. I didn't want to give up breast feeding only to wake twice a night for bottles, which is what we did for 3 years with Elliot.

So yesterday I bought a new book "The Mighty Toddler" by my favourite baby book author Robyn Barker and referred P to the appropriate pages. That night we put Gabriella's cot in Elliot's room. So not only is she being weaned, she is being moved into another room plus we are no longer using bottles at ANY time of the day.

I am really trying this time not to make any of the mistakes we made with Elliot as we ended up co-sleeping with him for 5 years. I do not denigrate any parent's choice of this method, it's just that it was a mistake for us as it was not a conscious choice and we found it extremely difficult to live this way due to the sleep deprivation involved.

There are really only a couple of other things I need to say about the weaning. The process is actually going very well and each day I am encouraged by our progress and the changes in Gabriella and my interaction. At first I really missed our closeness as I felt that to reinforce the change I should keep my distance. Today, I sat and let her cuddle my bosom and snuggle and breathe them in and worship them as objects of a baby's desire. I have allowed her access only one other time and that was after a particularly nasty incident involving a dropped bottle (no more of them now) and the corner of the coffee table (that has also disappeared) and her temple (which is fine now thank Goodness!). She was so distraught (and P was out) at the time that I felt it was the only thing I could do for my injured and distressed baby. She was immediately quieted by the surprise of being given access again I am sure.

The last matter of which I would like to speak on this matter involves the support I have had from the wonderful women of the blogosphere - I am so heartened by your words of wisdom and encouragement. I told my husband that given that I have been as emotional as I have, he is lucky that I am ruled by my head and not my heart and also that I am appreciative of the support from the women who have written to me.

Last but not least, thanks to you my wonderful husband - because this is being made tolerable and easier due to your commitment as well.


At 12:58 pm, Blogger Susoz said...

I night-weaned my son when he was 11mths old - I'd been almost crazy with sleep deprivation. My partner slept in his room with him for a month (we take things very gently!) We didn't give him a bottle, just patted him back to sleep when he woke. It was wonderful - I slept through and within a month he began to sleep through.
I still breastfed during the daytime and he accepted that as the norm. That continued for ... well I won't say how long, but it was a long time ;-)

At 1:37 pm, Blogger Zoe said...

We're just ending the bottles at sleep time, too. I think you are right to do it all together, it just saves reliving the process!

Make sure you do something nice for you.

And enjoy having your boobs and your bed back!

At 5:49 pm, Blogger Lushlife said...

Your right Zoe I do have lots to celebrate and commemorate and I will have to plan an evening out dining and drinking somewhere special with some special friends. It had only dawned on me today that my husband and I will have our own bedroom for the first time in 6 years - there has been a considerable amount of me and me and partner territory reclaimed this weekend!

At 11:51 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My thoughts are with you in this process. Getting babies off bottles and into long sleeps are big changes, part of the sighing and letting go of parenthood. Hope you and P can reclaim big parts of your privacy as a couple, while still maintaining that magical balance of sharing your bedroom with your kids sometimes...


At 7:34 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck, Lushlife! It will all be worth it, I have no doubt. In my humble view, you can't go wrong with Goddess Robin! I found her books very practical and refreshingly down-to-earth.

Hoping you feel like a new woman after catching up on lots of wonderful SLEEP....


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