Why Why Why?

Lately I have been participating by leaving comments concerning the whole "why do we blog posts"? I am suffering from a little issue fatigue on that matter having composed a couple of long comments and don't feel the need to reiterate my reasons now, but I thought I would like to say something about my relationship with my partner P because what I have written touches on our interaction and I don't want to leave the impression that he and I out-of-step.

While I said he doesn't understand why I have a blog and why I like to blog, equally I don't understand his passions for AFL, cricket and Ebay. Neither of us are interested in the merest detail of each others chosen professions, his computer animation bores me to tears if what he wishes to show me doesn't happen like, straight away. And his eyes glaze over if I start detailing any sort of legal phenomena.

That doesn't mean we don't have mutual interests, it just means that over the course of our relationship we have become honest enough to admit that we don't have to be or pretend to be interested in all aspects of each others lives. For instance, I don't insist that P gets up at 5am and come to the Farmer's markets with me, or shop for clothes with me. Likewise he doesn't insist that I watch the Lions vs. Swans on a Saturday afternoon or a Friday night or play X-box.

Of course I do get just a tiny bit wistful when I go out walking in the morning that I am not walking with my walking buddy/significant other like almost everyone else is, but that is not a core reason why P and I got together or remain together. We didn't commit to live in each others pockets, we committed to supporting each other and having respect for each other and we can do that without having to do everything together.

I think there are bigger picture issues that we should strive for, like compatibility and compromise with issues such as where we should live, how we raise our children, where they will go to school and what should their values be. As a couple and as friends we share a love of travel, food, wine, movies, reading and board games, we have many mutual friends and like to indulge together in the occasional cigarette - hand rolled by P using his favourite licorice papers and had only while consuming alcohol (and out of sight of the children).

This weekend I am looking forward to sharing a liqueur with P after dining out a deux. During dinner we may even feel enough largesse to indulge each other and listen to a work story from each of us. Though no promises we both want to stay awake!


At 9:38 am, Blogger OLS said...

My parents are like this - they are very comfortable with each other, but I know from staying with them that they can be in the same house all day and never in the same room for more than 10 minutes because they each do their own thing. I've never seen it as a problem and generally expected to maintain some degree of independance in all of my relationships. My ex had issues with that when we first moved in together, but he settled down after a couple of months.

And I don't think that anyone other than fellow lawyers can really understand or get excited by our professional lives. Even my oldest friends who have known me since I started studying law (and often helped me study) aren't really interested in those little legal technicalities that get me and my work colleagues all riveted. And it drives me nuts when they keep on asking questions in the middle of a tale... ;o)

But then, none of my close friends are lawyers and I've never dated another lawyer. *shrugs*


At 5:36 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I realise that over the years I have stopped doing lots of things I *quite liked* because they weren't things Soy liked as well. We were a bit 'in each others pockets' I guess because we tended to spend all our spare time doing things that interested us both. Anyway, since having kids we have been forced to do more things alone (it's that, or nothing, someone has to mind the kids) and I am doing things that I really like but would bore Soy to tears. It's a bit of a revelation really. I don't think I gave up an awful lot to do things that we both liked, but there's a little breath of freedom to simply pleasing myself for a while.

Blogging is a strange way to get to know people because you only get the asides about their relationships which can leave a very different impression of partners.



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